Important Recall Notice
The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,
regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named
Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality," or more commonly known as "SIN".
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfish, violent behaviour
[f] Amnesia of origin
To correct this SIN defect, the Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor
at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and
service free of charge.
The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire
burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further
details on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all
repaired units direct monitoring and assistance from the resident
Maintenance Technician, the Holy SPIRIT.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without making
these corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the
unit to many dangers and problems --- and will result in the human unit
being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
Thank you for your attention.
If possible, please notify others of this important recall notice.
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