Church Jokes

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can
a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin
was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy", the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4
better, 4  worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy
suddenly announced to his mother,

"Mum, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay
with us, but what made you decide that?" 

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up
and yell than to sit and listen."
 A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer
at a church service:

"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a
sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon
dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her
mother and whispered,

"Mummy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat
of the car. His father asked him three times what was

Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures
of their favourite Bible stories.

She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an
airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.

"I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,"
Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me
frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to.

My Mum is a good cook."

A college drama group presented a play in which one
character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I
descend into hell!"

A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through.

The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new
actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand
pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but
became hopelessly stuck.

No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle,
Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and
be quiet.

About halfway through the sermon, she leaned
over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor
Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
start his sermon all over again!'  It worked!


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