A Few Truths
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when
everything else feels so good.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and nappies have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears that this is true.
There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I am not fat, I am a nutritional overachiever.
I am having an out of money experience.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Practice safe eating- always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you
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