Now Hear This…..


1. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggart have written an
     impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss... the Pope only
     expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

  5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in
     the bathroom.

  6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up,
     the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

  7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of
     course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the
     impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending
      machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip
     me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a
     prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new
     flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbour was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how
     he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told
     him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will.
     He said, " Will? What will? I'm making a list of the people I want
     to bite!"

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.




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