A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
A woman's perfect breakfast:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display
of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since
had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old grand-daughter and beeped the
horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that,
He replied, "How did you
She said, "Because you
didn't swear afterwards."
Back to Index