Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu

that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken

McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't

have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the

counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,

nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a

half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six



*The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what

happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out

at the local Foodland with just a few items and the

lady behind me put her things on the belt close to

mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by

the cash register and placed it between our things so

they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned

all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking

it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not

finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how

much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my

mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said

 "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had

no clue to what had just happened.....




A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into

her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When 

inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was

shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a

credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".


*I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside

 her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied,

"I knew I should have replaced the battery to this

remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.

Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient

store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I

dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just

this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the

car keys to me. As I took the key and manually

unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive

over there and check about the batteries. It's a long



Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too

swift. One day she was typing and turned to a

secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing

paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"

the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her

last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the

photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.


I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large

motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the

vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing look

like a scene out of a twister movie. I asked the manager

what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the

"cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.


*IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49

 cents. Two for a dollar.


*IDIOTS & COMPUTERS... My neighbour works in the

operations department in the central office of a large

bank. Employees in the field call him when they have

problems with their computers. One night he got a call

from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this

question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my

terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


*IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE: I was sitting in my

 science class, when the teacher commented that the

next day would be the shortest day of the year. My

lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and

clapping. I explained to her that the amount of

daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.

Needless to say, she was very disappointed.


Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a

suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and

connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The

message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and 

police pressed the copy button each time they thought

the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the

"lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.




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