To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at
passing cars. See if they slow down.
(2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
(4) Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.
(5) Put your garbage can on your desk and
label it "IN."
(6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
(7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3
weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their
caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
(8) In the memo field of all your checks,
write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".
(9) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance
with the prophecy."
(10) Don't use any punctuation
(11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
(12) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.
(13) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
(14) Sing along at the opera.
(15) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
(16) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
(17) Five days in advance, tell your friends
you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.
(18) Have your co-workers address you by
your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
(19) When the money comes out of the ATM,
scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this
(20) When leaving the zoo, start running
towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your
lives, they're loose!"
(21) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to
the economy, we are going to have to let
one of you go."
And the final way to keep a healthy level of
(22) Send this e-mail to everyone in your
address book, even if they sent it to you or
have asked you not to send them stuff like this.
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